i miss ryan. It hurts alot how nell has to act around me. and it seems like shes making so many new friends now. Like im part of her past. I hate it so much. But i guess thats just how it has to be. and im not gonna cry. I just really wish ryan was here right now to help me through it. He told me all of this might happen. He warned me there would be consequences. But i kno its all worth it.